Until You Love Me
by Quick'nSilver
Summary: Sora and Vanitas are twins. But they are both so different, that somehow, one can not function without the other. One day, after a tragic accident, they are both forced to deal with their trauma. Vanitas ends up dealing with it very differently and will develop feelings that he knows are so wrong.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One – The Tragedy Unfolds

_Note: __I've written the first chapter than decided it lacked alot and rewritten it again. Now I guess it's fine. :) Hope you like it, comments and favs are very welcome. Also this is Unbeta'ed like all my works._

It had been a tragic accident. The young family was on their way to a vacation, the kids were so excited to finally reach the sea. They've heard so many stories and seen so many pictures, but surely, nothing could compare to the real ocean. "Are we there soon Mommy?" the brown haired boy asked. His brother laughed, because Sora asked the same question every five minutes. "Soon, Sora. About half an hour now, okay? You can open the window just a little, you'll already be able to smell the fresh air of the sea. Wanna try that, sweetie?"

Sora nodded excitedly. He opened the car window just slightly, letting in some air. Curiously Sora tried to smell the air coming inside. It smelt fresh and somehow salty, it was weird, he never smelled anything like that before. It felt nice. "It smells good!" he exclaimed in his overly enthusiastic way. Vanitas couldn't stop smiling, his brother's happiness and excitement was always kind of contagious. "I like the smell, too." he said calmly, enjoying the fresh air. A long car ride always bored Vanitas, but Sora somehow kept his mood up.

Their mother laughed. It was weird how these two were twins, but then again looked different in hair- and eye color, Sora taking after their mother, Vanitas after their father colorwise. Their characters were also so different, while Sora was always happy, a little too loud and very energetic, Vanitas was rather quiet, thoughtful and rarely showed much emotion when Sora wasn't around. Like he couldn't be happy without his brother. That was also one of the reasons these two were inseparable.

"WHAT-?!" was the only thing the boys heard their father scream out as he desperately hit the brakes. It was too late, the car didn't stop or change direction in time. A ghost driver who was heavily drunk and too confused to realize he was driving in the wrong direction, hit them frontal. The sound was deafening. The impact let the kids nearly fly out of their seats, gratefully the seatbelts did what they were supposed to, the kids were held in place. Seconds, minutes passed until both of them regained their consciousness after the blow.

It was a mess, a great shock for the children in the back of the car, their parents both crushed by the impact, blood, broken shards, dead silence. Only the ringing in their ears remained from the loud crashing impact. Vanitas stared wide eyed, seeing how their mother's arms hung lifelessly from her sides. Blood was running down and dripping. His father had his hands on the wheel when it happened, now smashed and merged with the chaos that was their car. Vanitas kept staring despite the cruel scene in front of him, no matter how much he tried to avert his eyes. It felt too unreal to be true, he was sure he saw a video played right before his eyes. Something recorded, not actually happening.

Sora took in the scene for only a mere seconds until he passed out again beside his brother. Too much, it was too much. His brain short circuited at the sight, as if to protect him from further harm. At the thought of his brother, Vanitas finally moved his gaze to Sora. As soon as he realized Sora lost consciousness, but looked unharmed otherwise, he was relieved. In some way, even though it was so hard to process the whole situation, knowing his brother was safe made him feel like that.

It didn't take long for the police and the ambulance to arrive, only to find two now both unconscious children as the only survivors of this tragic incident. The kids were taken to the hospital, their parents couldn't be saved anymore. In hospital, Sora refused to believe what had happened. Even though he's been in the car, he's seen their parents, just shortly, but enough to understand that they were definitely dead. Sora cried, the nurse had told him the sad truth as gingerly as possible several times now. Sora stayed in refusal.

Vanitas didn't say anything, but hugged his brother. Somehow, he lost his voice. He wanted to say comforting words to Sora, but the shock was too great, the sight he had seen was too cruel, and it temporary took his whole ability to speak. Still he didn't let go of his brother, let him cry at his shoulder, let him scream. Vanitas stared up to the disgustingly sterile white ceiling of their hospital room. When he stared too long, the white paint turned red, dripping down like the blood he saw dripping from their mother's arm. Vanitas didn't stop staring, fascinated and disgusted at the same time.

And from that day on, Sora and Vanitas, barely six years old, were robbed off their loving mother and their kind hearted father. They never had any other family, only a grandmother that was already in elderly care. Thus she wasn't able to take in two children and care for them. The funeral was held a few weeks later, their parents now before them in urns only. While they were buried, Sora bawled loudly, his little heart mourned their loss way too much. Vanitas stood at his side, an arm around his brother in a half hug.

"Please never leave me alone, Vani. Promise." Sora sniffed, wiping some tears and snot away from his face. After days and weeks of staying mostly silent, Vanitas spoke for the first time again, whispering to his brother. "I'll always be there, Sora. Whatever happens, I will never leave your side, promise." He embraced Sora a little tighter. They stayed hugged together until the end of the burial.

Their new home was called "Kindred Hearts Orphanage". It was a rather rundown house in the middle of nowhere, outside the city. There was a little chapel near the main building and a playground that had seen better times. Even though the first look seemed uninviting, the head priest welcomed the brothers with open arms. "Welcome to Kindred Hearts Orphanage, your new home. Come on in my poor souls, a warm meal is already awaiting you." he said with a gentle tone in his voice.

Sora and Vanitas clung to each other as they entered the building, eyed by the other kids and helpers inside the dining hall. Vanitas didn't let go of Sora's hand when they ate their bland soup in silence. Would this really be their new home? Surrounded by strangers, unsure of their future, they both seemed lost in their thoughts.

Sora wished to find trust in the adults, they may not be their mom or dad, but they were here to help them, right? They were here to protect them from harm. That's what Sora wanted to believe. Vanitas seemed to ignore every person, be it another child or an adult. For him, no one was worth to talk to, to even remember. He loved their parents so much, but now that some drunkyard had taken them away so cruelly, he couldn't find trust in anyone. Maybe the next person will hurt his beloved brother? No one was to be trusted.

Both brothers insisted to sleep in one bed together, Sora still cried a lot when his thoughts and memories ran wild. Vanitas wanted, no, needed to be there for him. As they both lied cramped together in the small bed, Sora fought with his tears again. He had slowly calmed down and fell asleep cuddled up on Vani's shoulder. Vanitas stayed awake, staring silently at the ceiling. It was dark, but he could see it again. The blood dripped down from the ceiling and over the walls. He knew he shouldn't see this, this shouldn't happen, so Vanitas kept it his secret.


	2. Chapter 2

Days passed, turned into weeks and the twins stayed glued together. It took Sora about a month to finally move away from his brother and talk to someone else. Shyly, he greeted the silver haired boy, who already tried to talk to Sora several times before.

"Hey!" Sora smiled at the taller boy. Riku smiled back. "Hey. Finally talking to me?" he asked, while he poked the girl who was hiding behind her. "Say hi, too." he told her. Kairi was a little scared, being the only girl in this orphanage, she was often picked on. "Hi!" she smiled shyly.

"Are you two related?" Sora wanted to know, because somehow similar to Vanitas and himself, these two were always together. Riku laughed and shook his head. "No, but we've been here for some years now. She is like a sister and I swore to protect her."

Kairi blushed a little. "I..it's not that I'm weak okay? But some boys here are jerks." She puffed her cheeks in a sulking manner. Sora couldn't help a little chuckle. He hasn't laughed ever since that accident.

Vanitas watched them from afar. He still didn't want to talk to anyone and he wasn't really fond of Sora talking to them either. Vanitas stared at Riku, the boy had tried to talk to his brother for some weeks now. Up until now, Vanitas could always somehow avoid it. Now that Sora started the conversation, he couldn't change anything about that.

Somehow, Vanitas felt anger welling up inside him. He couldn't really understand why, but seeing Sora with someone else made him feel that way. Whatever that feeling was, Vanitas fought with all his might to stay calm and not let that anger out. He heard and watched them talking for over half an hour. They were smiling, they were even laughing.

Riku finally noticed Vanitas staring over. "What about your brother? Is he mute?" Sora made a sad expression. "No he is just very quiet. He's always been, but ever since that day he.. turned really really silent." He mumbled out. It had worried Sora a lot, as well as the fact that Vanitas didn't seem to sleep properly ever since.

"I see. Told you Kairi, he's probably a nice boy, just very quiet. So you don't have to be scared." Riku turned to Kairi. She nodded hesitantly. Vanitas just gave off a scary vibe, and she definitely wasn't the only one thinking like that.

Sora looked over to his brother and back. He seemed to be angry? Sora felt guilty, like he did something wrong. "What's wrong?" Riku asked, noticing Sora's timid behaviour. Sora's gaze snapped back up to Riku. "Uh..nothing. I should go back to my brother for now.." he murmured.

"It was nice talking to you." Sora said while he already turned around to leave. Riku raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Kairi waved him as Sora walked back to Vanitas. They watched how Vanitas took Sora's arm and led him away. "Don't you think if his brother wasn't like that, Sora would have talked to us much sooner?" Kairi asked. "I guess so." Riku replied, lost in thought.

"Are you angry? Why did you have to drag me outside, Vani?" Sora sounded hurt. Vanitas still had Sora's arm in his grasp, holding it a bit too tightly. Still, he didn't answer. "You're hurting me, Van. Please let my arm go, okay?" Sora asked as nicely and patiently as he could.

Vanitas noticed the pained expression in Sora's face and finally realized he was, in fact, hurting his brother. With a sudden movement he let go of Sora's arm. "Sorry.." he whispered out. "It's okay." Sora said softly, then continued: "What's wrong, Vani?"

Vanitas didn't know how to answer. He didn't know how to express it, how to tell Sora what he was feeling. "It made me angry. You talking to them. I just.. don't want to lose you." He finally managed to say.

Hearing that, Sora wrapped his brother in his arms. "You're not gonna lose me, Vani. If you..don't want me to talk to them, I won't do it. Okay?" Even though Sora sounded so sad saying that, he meant it. If it's for his brother, he could do that. If it meant that Vanitas would get better, Sora won't talk to Riku or Kairi again.

"You won't? Can you promise, Sora?" Vanitas asked, a little taken aback. Sora nodded slowly. "I promise, Vanitas." He tried hard not to cry, to keep his tears inside. "Promise." he repeated. Vanitas hugged his brother tighter.

From that day on, Sora kept just as silent as his brother. Everytime Riku greeted him, Sora didn't react. Everytime Riku somehow wanted to talk to him, Vanitas would be there, pulling Sora away. Even Kairi tried, but was only answered with a sad look and him turning away.

And again, days passed, turned into weeks, weeks turned into months this time. It seemed that Riku and Kairi had given up. Maybe they really had. It wasn't like Sora could still hope for them to talk to him after he turned them down again and again.

Sometimes, Sora cried. He felt lonely and he felt bad for treating Riku and Kairi like that. Whenever he cried, Vanitas would take him in his arms, comforting him. But Sora never said why he cried, what had made him sad. And so, Vanitas assumed it was because he missed their parents.

Vanitas didn't know what he was doing to his brother. He just didn't want to lose him to anyone else, so he wanted to keep him to himself only. He thought that Sora only needed him, like he only needed Sora. Vanitas cared for Sora, he protected him, he was always at his side. What else would he need?

Their isolation from anyone else was what concerned the educators and the priest. They tried to talk to them, asked why they weren't trying to talk to anyone. Usually, Vanitas answered with a short "we don't need them" and didn't give any more chances to say or ask something.

They had several meetings about the twins, finally deciding that the only way to help them would probably be to separate them from each other. They realized that it was Vanitas who pushed Sora away from others. Sora seemed to want to have contact with others, but was restraining himself.

Before taking any drastic measures, they decided to talk to the boys one by one and find out if telling them about their solution would change something. They did have high hopes for Sora to react positively, but for Vanitas, they didn't know how he might react to even the thought of them putting him in a different place.

Sora was called in to the head priest's office one day. He was a little scared, wondering if he did something wrong. "Hello Mister Clarke.." he greeted the adult a bit shyly. The priest smiled softly. "Hello Sora. Come in, sit down." he said, pointing to the chair opposite of him.

Hesitatingly Sora went to the chair and sat down on it. He kept his head low, staring down on the floor. Would he be scolded for something? "Don't worry, dear. You did nothing wrong, okay? I just wanted to ask you something." Clarke assured Sora he would be fine.

"Ask me what?" Sora's head went up in curiosity. "Listen, Sora. We've all been quite worried about your situation. It seems that you want to have contact with others, but your brother doesn't want you to. Is that correct?" The older man tried his best to word it in a way that would not hurt Sora's feelings.

As soon as Sora heard the question, his head dropped down again. Was it that obvious? "I promised him…" Sora managed to say. He was close to tears, his pent up emotions of wanting to talk to someone else welling up."But I really.. I really want to..talk to the others, too. I don't understand why.. why Vani is mad when I do.."

A few tears started to fall, when the priest gently stroked through Sora's hair. "It's okay, dear. I see you are struggling. Sadly, if this continues, we will have to separate you from your brother. You don't want that, right?" Sora shook his head violently. Even though he was suffering with the way things were now, he didn't want to be separated from Vanitas.

"I see. I know you're a good boy, Sora. So we will talk to your brother, too. He surely doesn't want to be separated from you either. Please keep being a good boy, dear. Don't always listen to your brother. He is a child like you, he is not always right. Okay?"

Sora nodded, still sobbing. Priest Clarke put his arms around the crying boy, slowly carrying him onto his lap. He kept his gentle smile as he held the boy close to himself, caressing him. Sora didn't know how to feel about that, but he felt that he needed some comfort, so he didn't deny any of it.

"I'll be a good boy.." Sora whispered more to himself than to the man that held him. Still, the man grinned slightly, his hands lost in Sora's brown locks of hair. They stayed like that until Sora had cried himself to sleep, falling into a long needed afternoon nap.


End file.
